Dear Horoscope,

You better be right this time!

2014 is the year of major transformation and rebirth, Pisces. You’re about to undertake such a massive personal renovation project that your inner world will never quite look or feel the same. Of course, this will in turn revolutionize your outer world in the most fantastic ways imaginable. The first half of the year continues to celebrate romance and pleasure in a big and fabulous fashion. The overwhelming abundance of love that started crashing into your dreamy world last summer will continue to flourish straight through July. It’s not a question of falling madly in love — it’s a question of why it seems to be a daily occurrence. The spell won’t be broken until summer, so enjoy this incredible fantasy. Once summer comes you may have to choose and commit.

This lovely Jupiter influence has also been spectacular for your creative life, and will continue to be for the first half of the year. Consider this your second (or third or fourth) childhood as you’re being reminded how much fun it is to play!

Perhaps the best news is that your work is about to totally take off this summer, Pisces. If you’ve been in a bit of an uninspired slump, mope no more! Lucky and generous Jupiter will be moving into your work zone to bring you more work opportunities than you can possibly handle. You’ll have to choose carefully, or you may not sleep until 2015. This is also the year to strive for more balance in all life arenas — especially with money. You’re over owing anyone anything, and this is the year to start putting your creative talents into wiping out as much debt as possible. You know how to manifest like nobody’s business but often forget to put such magic into practice. Once you get a vision about something, it’s only a matter of time before it becomes reality, Pisces.

Love: The outrageously delicious romantic influence that began last summer continues for the first half of the year. Be sure to take advantage of this amorous time to celebrate your current love or to attract a new flame. Either way, the love energy is still peaking until July. Jupiter is a very generous planet and will be gracing your romance and pleasure sector, kissing your stars right up until summer. Nesting and romance could easily feel intertwined under this influence. Your instincts to nurture and be nurtured are exceptionally strong until Jupiter switches out of your sister Water sign in July.

Saturn continues his tour through sexy Scorpio this year, making another sweet and supportive aspect to your very own watery stars. You’re learning deep lessons about commitment, passion and facing your deepest fears when it comes to intimate relationships. You may have never even realized until now that you have some commitment issues. When responsibility starts drifting toward you, you have a tendency to swim the other way. As romantic as you are, you have a deep-seated terror of life becoming too predictable and mundane. You live for fantasy and glamour, Pisces. But alas, reality has a way of catching up to you and asking you if you’re ready to step up to the plate. This is your big decision in 2014: How far are you willing to go for love, and what would you be willing to sacrifice?

The North Node of Fate will move into the sign of relationships (Libra) close to your birthday for the remainder of the year, putting the emphasis on partnering. Considering how influenced you are by your environment, the coupling theme surrounding you is sure to feel contagious. You may find yourself longing for companionship despite your usual solitary bent. You can always make room for both in your life. Find a partner willing to give you that necessary downtime — or rework the parameters with your current mate. 2014 is the year for you to merge your dreams with your reality, Pisces.

Career: The stars are demanding that you find your passion and get practical about it, Pisces. You’re a gypsy and a total free spirit by nature, but this year you’re being asked to concentrate your energies and really focus on your passion. Yes, this means coming down from dreamland and getting serious about your career goals, but that doesn’t mean you can’t use those amazing visions you have while sleeping or daydreaming. In fact, the more you use them this year, the more powerful your career. The point is not to keep them separate. Why keep one of your best assets in the closet? You know how to work the powers of visualization better than anyone, and with Neptune and Chiron still cruising through your stars this year, you’re the master at turning imagery into profit. Money tends to be the least of your priorities, but you’re realizing it certainly doesn’t hurt. You prefer glamour and experience, but why not get paid a handsome salary for your talents? Of course you’ll just generously shower any wealth you accumulate on your loved ones — but that should be all the more incentive to excel in your career in 2014.

The planet of wealth and abundance moves into your work sector this summer, so get ready for a pile-up of projects, Pisces. You’ll wonder how it was that you ever complained about not having enough work. This phase — from July until the end of the year — is guaranteed to keep you so busy, you’ll be challenged to keep your head above water. Time management is key to keeping afloat because the demands will be a bit overwhelming — exhilarating but overwhelming, nonetheless. Be sure to get plenty of rest, and strive toward more balance in your life despite your hectic schedule. Refuse to let your health suffer as a result of working harder than ever. Don’t forget you’re hypersensitive to the energies around you and thus require copious amounts of downtime to replenish your energy and imagination. Sleep and bubble baths are essential to a Pisces for maintaining a successful career.

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Dear 2013,

I am so glad that you are almost over. I am relived that I don’t have to say two-thousand-thirteen anymore. Such a tongue twister! 2014 sounds much better, doesn’t it? Not to mention that in 2014 in June I will be celebrating 10 years of Canadian life and earlier in March four years of life on the West Coast!

So, dear 2013, I guess you have been a good enough year to me. I met a new good friend that I have lots in common with, Monica from Mexico. I met all the cool people at Strutta and ended up doing so many new and exciting things I didn’t even know existed, let alone me being able to do most of them! I met other beautiful people like Renee who wants to stay in touch with me. I have been welcomed with open arms in Strutta and they think of me as their culture bearer, which is probably the most important compliment everyone has ever paid me! I moved to a better place and I now enjoy a beautiful sunny, yet small, apartment on the 6th floor somewhere in the Olympic Village, overlooking Vancouver with its beautiful City Hall Tower Clock. I finally said good-bye to Mr. B and even posted an online dating profile, although I still have my doubts about the effectiveness of it all. Like they say, I prefer to meet someone the old fashion way, through alcohol and poor judgement. I don’t want to be interviewed for the position of a girl-friend/step mom or to select candidates for the position of partner.

All in all, you have been a pretty interesting period in my life. I am certain I have gained experience and evolved in some ways, even though it is hard to see what exactly I have achieved this year, but let me try and count the ways:

– left a job that didn’t satisfy me; actually, make that two

– drove in car2go around the city to gain more driving experience

– started my own RRSP and other savings initiative

– moved into a brand new apartment that I find too big (and yes, too expensive)

– paid my debts and started rebuilding my track record after the disaster from the years past

– did yoga at Moksha and got celebrated as the longest lasting ambassador there

– ran two races this year: the Sun Run in April and Run for the Cure in October

– met a very promising sci-fi writer, David Simpson, who lives in Vancouver and got a personalized autographed book from him

– travelled a bit, to Seattle by train and to Portland by plane, and to the island to Port Alberni

– played with so many dogs at work and at Christina’s, and I still miss Taz, my first canine love

– had a wonderful summer on the beaches around Vancouver, on my bike, in the sun

You have been good to me, 2013. I shall celebrate my successes and I shall learn from my mistakes. And I shall make 2013 count.

Here’s to another year-long trip around the Sun next year!

Dear Love of My Life,

I’ve been living in Vancouver for the past three years, so here’s where you can find me for now. But hurry up, as I don’t know how long I will be here for. My life has been a thrill so far, but I’m assuming that whatever is next will be as exciting. What can I tell you about me? I lived, so far, in four different cities in two different countries, on two separate continents. I would say that makes me open-minded, adaptable, curious, adventurous, and a bit crazy … I love writing, so much so that I am typing this letter on an old typewriter, one that I would love to take home. One day, Love of My Life, you will see my name on the cover of a book I will write about my life. Maybe even this letter will be a part of that book. I also love reading. I read all sorts of books, but mostly sci-fi and contemporary fiction. Living in Vancouver made me love hot yoga, swimming, running, and other outdoorsy stuff. I am also learning how to be a bit more open-minded about other ethnic foods. It’s going slowly, but I am making some progress. Vancouver also taught me how to love dogs. And how to simplify my life. One day, I will live in my own tiny house somewhere. It will have a loft, with a big bed, a cosy living room, a small kitchen, a veggie garden, and of course a reading room/spot. Maybe I see a dog in my future, not sure yet. It will be a Cocker Spaniel, not yet named. And it will have you as well, the most important (and enjoyable) part of the mix. You will be my partner, my friend, my rock, my pillow, my faith, my spirit, my mirror. And I, yours. We will travel together, I will show you my home country one day, and afterwards we will explore everything else together; one day we will go to Mexico or to the Seychelles together. Then after, we can go to New York, or London, or Paris. Oh, and I want to see the pyramids in Egypt once in my lifetime. Something to do with Stargate, you’ll understand eventually what I’m talking about. I have a favour to ask you: could you maybe teach me how to ski? I can’t believe that I have lived in Canada for almost 10 years now, and still don’t know how to ski. You know how, don’t you?

So, here I am, waiting for you. I know that you are on your way and I am happy to be patient for a little bit longer for you to tell me “I love you, and I cannot imagine living my life without you from now on”. You know where to find me, I’ll make sure I put a return address on the envelope (or maybe I should just stick to an email address?)

Anyway, come into my life, make me whole again, just like the song.

Looking forward to meeting you and to spending the rest of my life getting to know you better and vice-versa. There’s lots to things I want to know about you: where did you grow up, when did you decide to do something important with your life, what do you like, what do you hate, why, where are you coming from, where are you going. We’ve got lots of time.

Yours (and I mean truly),

Anca

Hello World,

So happy to be able to share such a joyous occasion with you all. I am typewriting on a very old and authentic machine. You probably don’t remember this, but on my vision board at the beginning of the year, I put a TYPEWRITER. One way or another, I got my wish.

#loveofmylife

#summerinthecity

#crazy

#past&future

ANCA

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Good-bye Mr. B,

You’ve been a part of my thoughts for so long that I can’t even remember a time when I didn’t think of you. Are you the love of my life? I hope not. I thought, sincerely, fiercely, throughout my life, that the love of my life will be mutual. Isn’t that the definition of one’s love of their life?

I remember everything. I remember your touch, your words, your text messages, your voice as it sounds over the phone, different from the one over Skype, and different from the one in person. I remember the first time we met. I remember what I was wearing and, a couple of months ago, when I gave up on holding on to those black skinny pants from H&M, I thought of you, of course. I remember our first kiss and how I left my umbrella in the cab on the way over to your hotel one rainy night in Montreal. Rain has been a constant in our relationship. Rain and my feelings for you. I remember our New Year’s 2010 spent relatively together via text messages, each in front of a fire place, saying “I love you” more times that I can remember, hoping for a great year together.

In the beginning I was amazed how you can possibly think that I am attractive, considering how attractive you were/are. I was baffled about the attention that I was receiving from you, about the interest you showed in me. I guess now I can say that my vision was clouded. Love is blind, isn’t it? Love makes you close your eyes to things that you just don’t want to see. And then, when finally you start seeing some things that you didn’t want to see, you start talking yourself into believing that they are not real, that it is your reality that’s real and perfect, and just the way you wanted it.

Of course I remember my first visit to Vancouver during the Winter Olympics 2010. I remember the perfect weather, the perfect time we had, the perfect Italian restaurant in Steveston that we went to for my birthday, the perfect drive to Whistler, the perfect you, the perfect everything. If I wasn’t already falling for you at that point, I would have had started it then, for sure.

But I also remember my decision to move to Vancouver less than a month later, in spite of all my friends (and without my family even knowing it!) disapproval looks, talks, emails, etc. No matter, as my mind was made up. High on endorphins, I guess. So here I was, packing my life, once again, in two pieces of luggage, buying a one-way ticket further West, and getting on a plane to live with you, Mr. B. I truly believed in your forever. And, to be fair, I believe that, at the time, you believed in it too.

What I don’t want to remember, but still do, are the fights, the nagging, the disagreements, the difficulty of making plans together, “my” job quitting. Don’t get me wrong, I also remember all and each of the great times we’ve had together, and right now it is still very difficult to find a place in and around Vancouver that does not remind me of you somehow. I remember Pemberton, Bowen Island, Victoria, Whistler, Grouse Christmas Village, and so much more. I remember being a friend, a step-mom, a dog-owner, a cook, a girl-friend, and everything in between with you. I was so much when I was with you. I would dare to say that I lived much more during the time we were together that it actually lasted. And, as much as I would love to believe that it has been forever since I’ve known you, we have been together, really, for a little more than one year only. This is my own personal proof to support Einstein’s theory of relativity.

I thought I was ready to say good-bye to you a long time ago. I thought that moving out of the house we shared will do the trick. It didn’t. I thought that dating someone else for a while will do the trick. It didn’t. I thought that you dating someone else (more than once) will do the trick. It didn’t. I thought that you ignoring me for periods of time will do the trick once and for all. I guess it didn’t.

So here it is, my last resort, a letter of closure, a letter of saying good-bye to you, even if it’s unsent.

Good-bye, Mr. B, with all my heart still. Maybe one day.

Dear Universe,

Teach me how to trust my heart, my mind, my intuition, my inner knowing,

the senses of my body,

the blessings of my spirit.

Teach me to trust these things so that I may enter my sacred space

and love beyond my fear.

And thus walk in balance with the passing of each glorious sun…

(Lakota Prayer)

Dear God,

Yoga is my religion and savasana is my own form of prayer.

I do not have to do it daily. It is always there for me when I decide to come back to it. I can do a 30-day challenge and it feels like lent preparing for something bigger and better afterwards.

I do not understand it, but spirituality is supposed to be something beyond understanding. There is calmness. And there is strength.

When I lay down in the corpse pose, all I can think of is gratitude. I am not asking for anything, but only giving thanks for what this body and mind is able to do. I just return to being me, honest, truthful, sad, lonely, warm at heart, yearning for companionship but searching for solitude, and everything in between. I return to myself.

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Dear WordPress,

I am turning over a new leaf and committing to a blog once again. But I didn’t want my previous posts to be lost, so I am moving them over here. See here: bambi-21stcentury.blogspot.ca/

There has been a one-year gap already, but I believe that I have many things to say.

I run into beautiful and inspiring people in my life for a reason: Luca Fogale, the musician who plays during our hot yoga music classes, and Pauline Caballero, who just started writing a blog, just to name a few.

I think my creative talent lies in putting together two different ideas to create something new, either in writing or crafting. Luca asked to read what I’ve written. Pauline inspired me to take hot yoga, running, doing the Grind, and now blogging.

So, dear WordPress, there must have been a good reason for us to meet. I’m glad I ran into you and I am willing to share my deepest thoughts, fears, and hopes with you. Take good care of them, will you?